Dramatic Play

I read this parenting e-magazine last night to get advice on dealing with two whiny drama queens (one in training, learning from the master who should have received an Oscar nomimination for her evening performance). It was so bad that at one point I had to leave the room before my ears bled and I was overcome by a tantrum I could only have stopped with huge quantities of wine or chocolate.

The article, 8 Parenting Mistakes Parents Make, (I know. I'm a glutten for punishment. As if I don't generate enough guilt on my own.) says don't lie to your child if she doesn't want to do something. Instead, sympathize by saying, "sometimes I don't want to go to work." Well, I never lied to my child. I just yelled that we'd be here all night at this rate, and then I wanted to burst into tears. So did she. But then I thought about it. What does it do to the child whose stay-at-home-mom just said, "sometimes I don't want to go to work?" Hmm. Therapy later in life, I guess. But I'll try it tonight. She's going to need therapy anyway. And we still have a mountain of homework after missing school for the California trip.

The drama has to stop! I want to write that sentiment on a sign and picket in front of her door, but she claims she can't read yet.

I thought I would sign Maisey up for theater classes, but I decided I don't want to encourage it. We spent two and a half gruelling hours doing homework last night (and we didn't finish), because drama queen performed a complete three act tragedy about everything from missing Daddy (who's in China) to missing out playing with Alex (who just went home after playing at our house for 3 hours), to my being a Mean Mama (vilified for wanting my child to be literate). What's funny is, well, nothing is funny. This is like nails on a chalkboard. I really would rather be pulled by wild horses than help with first grade homework.

California Girls: Day 3: The San Diego Zoo

Just when you thought this blog (and my trip) was over, there's more. Who can go to San Diego without visiting their world class zoo? Not us.

Even Maisey's mermaid, Morgana, is strapped in for the trip.

And now, fun with photos.

Posing with his placard. I couldn't have directed him to do this.

It's fun to play scientist.

Gorilla Yoga. He's chanting ohm.

I can't remember its scientific name, but this is the ancient relative of the Secretary Bird. I took pictures of the real bird, but only the fence was in focus.

At some point Evie began collecting leaves.

This is a North American Tiger, extinct for thousands of years. The girls enjoyed a climb on him.

Stop to smell the flowers.

A view of San Diego from the zoo's sky tram.

A great zoo. A great trip. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

California Girls: Day 2

Aliso Creek/Laguna Beach

Knowing Clint's meetng was only going to run a half day, we decided to jaunt up to Laguna Beach where there was a playground for the kids. Who knew the waves were up. Dangerously up! I feared for the kids' lives the moment we set foot on this beach.

Maisey had to get used to the idea of huge waves. It didn't take long.

The Aliso Creek inlet was an interesting place. Sam kept worrying that sharks could live in there, since the high tide brought salt water up into the inlet.

I kept Evie behind me at all times on the dry beach. She enjoyed getting sandy.

Maisey and Sam started playing chicken with the surf. The surf always won.

I finally convinced them to hit the beach park so I could calm my heart palpitations. One wave took us by surprise and came up over the edge of the sand dune, drenching all of us. At that millisecond I realized Evie was on her knees in the sand behind me. I grabbed her arm to haul her up just as the surf rushed beneath us. Luckily she only got wet up to her bum. Lesson learned.

The Dolphin Safari

Despite my realization of my insignificance in the presence of the ocean, I was excited to go on our dolphin/whale safari trip Friday afternoon. Friends at dinner the night before said it was fantastic. I was a little worried about the girls being safe, but the company assured us that children would have a great time, and the boat was large enough not to cause sea sickness problems. Well then, what could go wrong?

Enter Murphy's Law. We waited. And waited. I bought a bunch of snacks, took the kids to the bathroom, drank lots of gatorade. Took the kids to the bathroom again. And still the boat was late.

Maisey took it in stride, making a new friend on the deck while waiting for our boat.

Finally, the boat arrived and we were on our way.

At this point, Evie then embarked on the biggest, longest, most violent tantrum I have ever experienced. With any child. After almost 15 minutes of excruciating crying, screaming, yelling, and squirming (because she wanted to lay on the step where only two thin ropes came between her and the open ocean), she was hitting, kicking, and eventually sobbing, and then finally--finally!--she passed out on my lap.

I was still optimistic about the trip, when the captain lifted a door on the port side and turned a key, only to hear the grind of a motor trying to turn over. Visions of Gilligan's Island danced in my head. This is supposed to be a two hour tour! I thought. He slammed the door and walked away muttering something. I was beginning to wonder what I'd signed us up for.

As he talked, it sounded as if was trying to say that we may not see whales or even dolphins. I sat looking out over the ocean, enjoying the views, hoping that slight queasy feeling was just disappointment.

Suddenly someone spotted something off the port side of the boat. We trolled this way and that, turned, banked, slowed, continued on, and nothing. Then someone spotted a few dophins ahead, and we took off. And my stomach remained about two knots behind the boat.

Every time someone sighted a dolphin--and they were popping up everywhere by now--the boat banked left or right, spun around, raced ahead to keep up, and I had to close my eyes, grip my sleeping child, and let the sea breeze help me hold on to my lunch. People spotted dolphins and pointed, racing across the boat to see, and I remained in my seat, Evie in my lap, wondering how I could throw up heavy pepperoni and sausage pizza into the ocean while still safely holding a sleeping preschooler.

When we caught up with a pod of dolphins we drove straight, and thankfully, I could stop the immediate search for an easy spot to throw up. I didn't see much of the excitement going on at the front of the boat. In reality, whatever came across the back starboard side of the boat is what I saw on this trip.

Yes, that white speck in the water is a Risso dolphin.

That black speck is a bottlenose dolphin

Thankfully, I kept my lunch and Maisey and Clint had a fantastic time viewing the dolphins up close. They told me they got to stand at the bow of the ship, whistling at the dolphins, who turned over while swimming up to 20 knots to stare at her, probably wishing she would become a mermaid and join in the fun. They jumped and splashed, and Clint even took Maisey into the boat's eye-pod to view the dolphins underwater.

I felt relief when the captain finally said it was time to head back. We cruised through a number of sailboats, some coming in for the Tall Ships festival at the Ocean Institute at Dana Point Harbor. They were awe inspiring beauty.

Maisey was so excited. The captain even gave her a spotted dolphin toy for sighting a dolphin from the bow, and Clint shot video of the dolphins swimming and looking up at Maisey while she talked and whistled. It was enchanting. And I felt the need to document what I saw, I finally got a decent shot at some wildlife. From the rockwall at Dana Harbor.

Well, there's always tomorrow.