Worst.Day.Ever.

Yesterday was it. The worst day ever. Or at least in recent memory. I won't bore you with all little things that sent my mood down the proverbial toilet, but by far the worst was Maisey's weekly progress report at school. She dropped in 5 of 9 categories from a "p=progressing" to an "n= needs improvement." What is happening to my child?

Class Behavior

Class Work Effort

Attentiveness

Organization

Handwriting

The only one we have some inkling about is handwriting. Maisey is a lefty. And she broke her left arm last year in kindergarten, just when they started focusing on writing. For a month she tried writing with her right hand, but once the splint was off she went back to her left. Even the teacher recognizes this setback, so we have been practicing more with penmanship.

Like everyone I blame myself. What am I not instilling in her that she should be doing? She's so easily distracted, so easy to follow the nearest animated child (and often the child with the worst influence!) You tell her a simple request, and she cannot repeat it back to you. It's as if she doesn't listen, or doesn't want to. I've always encouraged her creativity, but my worst nightmare is creativity that works against her. I've said to her before that I don't want to change who she is, I just want to instill some structure, some rules and guidelines so that she can more easily be who she is within society. I've also said that what you must do always comes before what you want to do. In other words, schoolwork first. She says she wants to cancel school. I need to get to the bottom of this before learning becomes anathema to her.

It's frustrating not knowing the right path, the right course of action. Clint and I both talked to her about how disappointed we were in her behavior, especially after setting up a reward plan for when she brings home an "e=excellent." She seemed disappointed in herself, but cried that she just can't do it and she wants to cancel school. I am beside myself with worry.

I told her earlier that day that if her scores don't improve next week (the last week of the 9 week period), she will not be permitted any extra-curricular activities (Girl Scouts, birthday parties, and especially TV.) In the tub she wailed about wanting to get back to E's, (even though she has yet to attain an "e" in any area) and I told her I knew she could do it.

After a lot of thought, and a couple of Guinness after the girls were in bed, I managed to see that in every thing, this girl will need lots of motivating. I'm always told positive motivation is better, but I also have to make use of consequences. I suppose I need to get motivated to motivate her.