Staying Clean

So I finished the cleanse on the 27th, and I finally had my first cup of coffee on February 1. It tasted, in the words of a friend and fellow cleanser, "like rainbows and birthday presents." And then about an hour later I got all jittery. The second day of coffee tasted just as wonderful. Then DH tells me that the half life of caffeine is 36 hours. So I'm technically addicted again.

I'm still afraid to eat. But I got over it, mostly. I baked fresh bread, the dutch oven kind, because hot out of the oven, it too, tastes like rainbows and birthday presents. And I showed considerable restraint not eating the entire loaf for lunch. I had two generous hunks with butter, and I paid for it later.

Bread--my beloved bread!--doesn't agree with me.

So today I tried spelt flour soda bread. That ancient grain that costs about $16 for about a pound. I had to do British conversions for grams in my head, and as a true experiemental cook, I played with it until it looked like a good dough. Upon baking, it turned out just like my regular soda bread, but darker, with a nutty flavor. Yum! I'm waiting to see what this bread does to me.

I also made Ghiardelli chocolate brownies with Maisey last night. I refrained from eating one until today at lunch, and it was divine.

So maybe I'm not afraid to eat. :)

I'm afraid of what it's doing to me though. So back to the clean/elimination diet tomorrow. What good would those 21 days and withdrawal have done if I cancel it all out by returning to my poor eating habits? And I have to think of my kids, who eat way worse than me. I have to find better, fresher foods, and just do it. And for my husband too, whose health is in dire straights, according to his doctor, who wants to put him on Crestor for high cholesterol, and baby asipirin for blood clotting issues.

It's time to get clean and stay clean. All of us.